Brand New Person,
Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala

date: 08/22/2026

It's once again early in the morning. I feel like my creative juices are more active early in the morning, but I like to sleep in. I should get up earlier, instead of falling back to asleep when my body naturally wakes me up anyways.

I've had a recent realization: after a few years of haphazardly cutting my hair, and changing my hair from my natural hair color to red then blonde, I'm ready to go back to natural, and actually paying to cut my hair. My hair holds much more of my physical self confidence than I believed before.

I got my hair cut yesterday, and I dyed the blonde parts of my hair back to brown. I feel like I recognize myself again. When I looked in the mirror, I saw the person I feel like I lost. Since 18, I haven't had natural hair. Technically, this brown is not natural either - but it is pretty much the same color as my natural. It might be a little darker. My adulthood has not really known my natural hair. With me turning 21 soon, I felt ready for a major change.

I'm still me, sure, but anybody who has known me more than a year can say I'm pretty different from who I was before I turned 20. I often don't recognize myself; depression has taken me over. Even so, I have the ability to change that outcome anytime. I don't have to continue being cold and boring — I can choose to do better. My hair going back to brown signalizes a want—no, a need— to make some changes. I lost myself. Time to find me again.

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

date: 07/27/2026

It's 6:45am. I'm not usually up this early in the morning anymore; usually, I wake up around 8:30am. However, I was awoken by my dog and felt no need to go back to sleep. It's a Monday, so my new 'Discover Weekly' is out on Spotify. I'm listening to that and drinking green tea, a beverage I seldom choose.

I'm acutely aware this morning of how quickly your life can change. Your life can be changed in any instant. I currently work at a sandwich shop, with some debts, and I've dropped out of school. I'm in a different mindset and different 'era' than that of even a year ago; 18 year old me (from July 2024) would be in shock of what my life is now. The idea of my life getting better keeps me living.

After four attempts of applying at Target, I finally made it through to their virtual interview. I completed it yesterday. If I get this job, my life would once again be changed. I would have broke away from the food industry in a highly-regarded retail job, wherein I make more money and I have more freedom. I can finally take driving lessons; I can get my nails done; I can buy healthy groceries with a discount; and above all, I turn 21 soon. I can hopefully go out more and meet new people and maybe fall in love.

I hope the change ahead is not yet another fall on my face.